My Anxiety Spread – also good for ptsd & depression
- How am I dealing with the situation?
- What triggered the anxiety?
- Why do I feel stuck/trapped?
- What am I not facing/seeing?
- How do I work through it?
I must admit, I often tend to ignore any anxiety I’m suffering. I know it’s there, but I try not to dwell on it. Right now though, I’m suffering quite a bit of financial issues caused by my workplace screwing up my wages this month, so naturally that’s been playing on my mind a lot since payday.
1. How am I dealing with the situation?
Warrior Princess – Gift of Courage
I swear this is turning into a stalker card! The Warrior Princess is back to let me know I’m being a bit reckless in dealing with my situation, and I can’t deny that. While I did cancel a bunch of Amazon pre-orders, sold a small pile of books on ebay, and cancelled most of my Kickstarter pledges, I’ve not managed to completely curb my spending.
2. What triggered the anxiety?
Dancer King – Gift of Wisdom
The Dancer King speaks of being experienced, and it was my workplace underpaying me that kicked this whole thing off, but he also speaks of being emotional, and the week of money I’m missing should have been sick pay (I think my sicknote might not have been put on the system properly, thus having me down as being missing for the first week of the last pay period). This makes me dread having any more time off sick, despite how bad my health may get, and given that I have surgery coming up which could involve a long recovery time and really quite worried.
3. Why do I feel stuck/trapped?
XI – Strength
“The path to wholeness lies ahead, through the dragon’s flaming breath.” As I said above, I know I have upcoming surgery, and if work can mess up my pay on a single week of sickness, what are they going to do when I’m dealing with a long post-surgery recovery time? I know I need this surgery, but I’m dreading the financial hardship it will bring. I’d love to get in a lot of overtime beforehand to make a bit of a nest egg, but I know my health won’t allow me to do so.
4. What am I not facing/seeing?
Dancer Two – Soulmates
I have a partner, soon to be husband, who does have a well paid job, and earns a lot more money than I do. He does cover the lion’s share of the mortgage, utility bills, and food costs, but I do contribute a third of my (usual) wages towards this, which turned out to be half my wages this month. So while I’m probably going to have to cancel all the little things that bring me joy during my post-surgery recovery, due to lack of money, Witch Casket, Patreon pledges, Dragon Magic of the Month Club and Kindle Unlimited, at least I know I’ll have a roof over my head and food in my belly thanks to him.
5. How do I work through it?
XVIII – The Moon
I kinda want to take this card literally, and just live in my dreams until everything is sorted out. It’s interesting that “hormones” is one of this card’s keywords, given that the surgery is going to really affect them. I will have to keep an eye on my emotions and my subconscious to stop myself from falling back into deep depression. I’ve been there before, and I wear the scars of that time to remind me not to go back there.
I don’t think my anxiety is going to go away any time soon, all I can do is try not to let it overwhelm me.